Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Borderline Bipolar

Today was a hard day for me. My mother worked her late night at the retirement home. My sister forgot to take her medication in the morning (which is never a good thing). She is Borderline Bipolar with slight personality disorder. Her diagnosis is always changing. 

I am going away for the Thanksgiving holiday. My family is going to Eastern Ohio for a few days to visit with family. I was going to leave a day early (Today) with my grandmother so that she wouldn't have to drive alone because the weather center was calling for terrible weather. After talking it over with her, my grandmother said I could go with her. I was so excited to be going a day early because usually my brother gets to go with my grandmother but, he can't go at all due to his work schedule and the income that he would lose if he took off. :(  I was so happy that I was jumping around the house and telling my sister that I get to go with Grandma for a change. While I was telling my sister this, she started rolling her eyes at me and saying," O! How exciting for you, you get to leave ME all alone for the ride with mom and dad!" I didn't know what to say so, I just left it go. 

Well, after thinking about things to myself, I texted my grandmother and explained how my sister was acting. I decided to stay back and drive out with my sister and Parents on Thanksgiving day instead. I thought that would make my sister happy to hear that , once again, I had to change my plans to make HER happy. She was happy. I was not, at first. I thought about it more and tried to think of the positive's instead of the negatives. 

Positive's: 1. Tradition of watching the Parade with my dad.
                2. Riding with my sister and listening to my dad's headbangin' music for 8 hours!! 
                3. Having an extra day with my animals and my brother.
                4. Getting to hang out with my best friend/ neighbor.
Negative's: 1. Grandma had to drive alone.
                 2. Cousin's won't get time 'alone' with me.
                 3. No 'Grandma and Me Time'.

Overall, the Positive's won out so I calmed down about the situation.
That is until my sister forgot to take her medication this morning!!

As soon as she told me (at 1pm) "OH BOY!," is what I immediately thought to myself. 
I knew, after that, that it was going to be a rough night for me.
Every time that she forgets to take her medications, she isn't to nice a person to be around. 
She ALWAYS take's more than her share of 'swings' at me. 
Makes me want to just SCREAM at her but, I know that will only make things worse.
So, I keep my cool. (As much as I possibly can)

Monday night- Tuesday night: My best friend spent the night because she is off of school for the holiday break. Yes, she is also my next door neighbor and little sister. (I am 18 and she is 14) We 'hung out' all day Tuesday until she went home at around 6-7pm.
Our favorite show, Ghost Hunters, was on marathon for the syfy network today (Wednesday) so, she came over around 2 pm and stayed til around 7pm.


At around 6pm my sister texted me, she was in her room, and started up the first 'swing' on me. 
Exact words: "BTW I ain't doing dishes until you people are done watching that crap 'Ghost show'. I forgot my pills today and your watching that and thats why I am in my room. I just want peacefulness and Christmas music playiung softly on the radio. You people were watching that show all day all I want is for a turn to listen to the radio. 
Text 2: Obviously, you don't give two s**** about me!!!

Text 3: It's just I didn't get to hang out with you at all today :,( :,( I thought that was the reason why you didn't go with gma to Ohio. Then, you hang out with HER (meaning my friend) the whole dang day. When is she going home? I want you all to myself!

Text 4: Sometimes, I just don't get your reasoning.

what reasoning?

Text 5: Staying home n not going with gma. Mom told me that you didn't go with gma cuz you wanted to hang out with me but here you are hanging out with your friend instead! I just don't get it!

I JUST ABOUT LOST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE WANTS ME TO HERSELF! She has me to herself all day everyday. My friend is in school all day M-F. I NEVER get to hang out with her anymore because when she gets home from school, I am leaving for work. I tried explaining this to my sister with no luck, of course. 

I decided to let thins go again and wait til my mom got home from work. 

My mom called home from work at around 7:15 pm to say that she was clocking out and coming home. My sister decided to take her night time pills early since she forgot to take her a.m. pills. I told her she had no choice. She finished doing dishes before my mom got home. (A KEY RULE IN OUR HOUSE IS THAT THE KITCHEN MUST BE CLEANED UP BEFORE OUR PARENTS GET HOME FROM WORK!)
She didn't apologize to me yet. I never expect her to but, it would be nice. She is my only sister so, I am lucky. That is how I look at the whole thing. No matter how bad our arguments get, she is always my sister and I will always love her.

Even when I would rather " Throw a few' her way. 

~Paige Allshouse


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Living with a Bipolar: Informative

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very quick.

This is an information post with my personal opinions added.

Fact 1People with bipolar disorder type 1 have had at least one manic episode and periods of major depression.
 In the past, bipolar disorder type 1 was called manic depression.

Opinion: Yes, My family member has had at least 1 manic episode of major depression. 

Fact 2People with bipolar disorder type 2 have never had full mania. Instead they experience periods of high energy levels and impulsiveness that are not as extreme as mania (called hypomania). These periods alternate with episodes of depression.

Opinion: True, The highs and lows of Bipolar are 'out of nowhere'. You have to watch your words carefully around patients diagnosed with it. You never know what mood they are in and you never know what they are going to say or do next.

Fact 3A mild form of bipolar disorder called cyclothymia involves less severe mood swings. People with this form alternate between hypomania and mild depression. People with bipolar disorder type II or cyclothymia may be wrongly diagnosed as having depression.

Opinion: This is saying that people that are diagnosed with cyclothymia are USUALLY  misdiagnosed as having depression. This does NOT mean that cyclothymia patients can NOT have depression, it is simply saying that most cyclothymia patients don't suffer from depression. 

Want to read more?
The link:

The Beginning

My name is Paige. My life started 18 years ago. Since then, I have been trying to find my way in the world we call LIFE. There is so much to know about me but, for now, I will tell you the basics.

I am a heartsy girl. This meaning I love to draw hearts, everywhere!!
I am a loving girl. I love lots of people...and animals <3 
I am a natural blonde but, not a natural ditz.
I have never done drugs, nor do I ever want to. (my reasons later to come)
I am the youngest of 3 children.
I have had 4 jobs in the past 3 1/2 years. (3 of them, I quit)
I was never fired.
I have volunteered many hours at different outlets.
My stress reliever is drawing, painting, and singing. (pictures soon to come!!)
I am a advice giver with many friends in need of it.
I am a Christian. (I do not preach to ears that won't listen)
I am a happy- go- lucky girl and I live my life to the fullest. (not the fastest)

"If you don't take time to smell the least you can still smell the manure!"
~ Lancaster County 

                                                    This is Muy 
                            <3 LoveMeOrHateMeIAmStillOnYourMind <3